Setting Boundaries That Stick: Protecting Your Energy and Mental Health

Heart To Yours FLS
Mar 5
3 min read

Updated: Mar 20

For so long, I struggled with boundaries. I gave endlessly, poured into others without hesitation, and always made myself available—only to realize that when I needed support, the same energy was rarely returned.

It hurt. It made me question my worth. I couldn’t understand how I could be there for everyone, yet feel so alone when I needed someone to lean on.

But I had to learn something life-changing: If I didn’t prioritize myself, no one else would.

The Truth About Boundaries (That Took Me Too Long to Learn)

Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away—it’s about protecting your energy, peace, and mental well-being. The reality is:

✔ People will treat you the way you allow them to.

✔ Not everyone values you the way you value them.

✔ You are NOT selfish for prioritizing yourself.

I had to take a hard look at my relationships and ask: Are these people pouring into me the way I pour into them? When the answer was no, I knew it was time to make changes.

How I Started Setting Boundaries That Stick

If you struggle with boundaries like I did, here are the steps that helped me—and that you can start today:

1. Start Saying “No” Without Guilt 🚫

I used to say “yes” to everything, afraid of disappointing others. But I realized that saying yes to them meant saying no to myself. Now, I ask myself: Does this align with my needs, energy, and goals right now? If not, I say no—without guilt.

2. Take Inventory of Your Relationships 📋

Not everyone deserves access to your time and energy. I had to reevaluate my friendships and ask:

Do they support me the way I support them?
Do I feel drained or uplifted after spending time with them?
Do they respect my time, energy, and boundaries?

If a relationship is one-sided or constantly leaves you exhausted, it may be time to create distance.

3. Silence Your Phone & Protect Your Space 📵

Not every call, text, or request needs an immediate response. I started setting phone boundaries by:

✔ Letting calls go to voicemail when I needed space.

✔ Muting or limiting interactions with people who drained me.

✔ Creating “do not disturb” times for my mental peace.

4. Accept That Not Everyone Will Like Your Boundaries (And That’s Okay) 🤷🏽‍♀️

When you start setting boundaries, some people will be upset—especially those who benefited from your lack of them. That’s not your problem. Their reaction is a reflection of them, not a reason for you to back down.

5. Lead by Example: Show Others That You Matter 💛

People will learn how to treat you based on what you allow. When you prioritize yourself, others will follow suit. I remind myself daily: I matter. My time matters. My energy matters. And when I show up for myself first, I teach others to respect and value me the same way.

Protect Your Energy, Protect Your Peace

If you’re constantly drained, always giving, and never receiving, it’s time to make a change. Setting boundaries isn’t about being harsh—it’s about choosing your peace over people-pleasing.

✨ Say no without guilt.

✨ Reevaluate your relationships.

✨ Protect your time and energy.

✨ Remember: You matter.